Greetings! September 2004 Hope you were able to enjoy the last rays of the summer sun! The Fall is here and it brings a crispness and clarity in the air. May this month's newsletter bring you clarity and tools to communicate more effectively in your life. If, at any time, you would like to unsubscribe, simply go to the end of the newsletter. Enjoy! Jean M. DiGiovanna, President, ThinkPeople Monthly Theme Monthly Workout Monthly Poem Upcoming Workshops/ Events Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Communication has always intrigued me! How we communicate can make all the difference in the world yet, it can be the most challenging skill as a human being to master. It’s the kind of skill we are continuously learning and evolving and there really is no end point. During the course of each day, we are either in communication or out of communication with each other. It takes a rigorous process of noticing, understanding your own needs and that of the other and using language to express yourself authentically. Isn’t it ironic that we can often understand body language easier than if we were to use words? It’s not that we are poor communicators. It’s that we aren’t often equipped with the tools and resources to communicate effectively and effortlessly. So often, we say “yes” when we mean “no”. We say “no, thank you” when we really want to say “yes, I’d like that”. We say and do things out of the need to make a situation better, so as not to hurt the other, and we sacrifice our own values in the meantime. We keep our feelings inside for fear of what others will think and we stay in situations longer than we want to. Sound familiar? Just think of all the time and emotional energy wasted when we don’t say what we mean or we don’t really mean what we say. We lose our own voice and our capacity to truly connect. Most of all, we lose the connection with ourselves and in the end, it costs us our vitality, aliveness, and ultimately, our fulfillment. Choose your words carefully. If something is difficult to share, express how difficult is has been to say what you are about to say. When we disclose our feelings upfront, it shows our humanity. It’s hard for the other person not to show humanity back. Respect and acknowledge the response or reaction you may get. Remember, you don’t always have to agree with it. If you really don’t want to do something, decline. If you need to say no, say it gracefully without having to sugarcoat or make excuses. Excuses are just a way to justify and make yourself right. “Thank you for the invitation, but I’m going to decline. I hope you have a great time!” If you don’t really want to do something, don’t say yes just to please. Don’t say “I’ll try” when you know very well you won’t. Say “yes” when you mean “yes”. Say “no, thank you” to the things you want to decline and acknowledge and respect where you are and who you are communicating with. Don’t worry about what others will think. When we are truly authentic in our communication and fully express ourselves, we will live a life of ease, clarity and freedom because we are honoring our own integrity and what is most important to us. I promise this will create deeper connections in your life! Cheers! Jean M. DiGiovanna Monthly Workout: A Look at Communication: Explore the following questions below for this month's workout: How would you rate your level of authenticity in your communication on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being lowest)? In the last month, how often have you said “no” when you wanted to say “yes”, said “yes” when you wanted to say “no”? What would it take to increase your level of authenticity in your communication? In what areas are you most challenged with? Pick one area of communication that challenges you and practice with it. Take one situation and recall what you really feel and what you really want to say and jot your feelings and expressions down. Now, practice saying what you’d like to say. It’s often in the speaking of it out loud that it becomes real and easier to express. Practice communicating with a friend as well. Now, communicate for real! Take the time to communicate what you’ve been practicing to the person who you want to communicate with and see how it feels. Remember, each time it gets easier to be authentic and say what you really mean and mean what you say. I look forward to hearing what you experience! (please e-mail me at jdigi@thinkpeople.com) Poem of the Month: Being Authentic! Authentic communication requires Understanding yourself the most. Trying so hard to fully express and be real, Having to say what we mean and mean what we feel. Especially when the stakes are high. Never waiver from what feels right or ask why. Trust your feelings and express what is true, knowing Inside, your fear is as natural as the morning dew. Most of all, Connect with what is most important to you.                          ~ by Jean M. DiGiovanna Upcoming Workshops, Events, Announcements EVENTS Exclusive Jewelry Design by Jean DiGiovanna exhibiting Friday, October 22, 2004 8pm - 12pm at Supershag Dance Studios. Fresh water pearl, crystal, vintage glass jewelry for sale. Stay tuned in October for details at http://www.supershag.com Boston Women's Network (BWN) invites you to "Identity Theft: Don't Let Bad Things Happen to your Good Name." Presented by Rose Gershon. As busy women, we are actively taking care of our finances, taking care of our business, our family and our health, but how many of us are consciously taking care of our own identity? Come learn how you can protect yourself and safeguard your identity! Tuesday, October 26, 2004 from 6:00pm - 8:00pm at Lexington Sheraton Inn To register or for more info, see http://www.bostonwomensnetwork.org/news/102604_meeting.html OTHER WORKSHOPS delivered by Colleagues Effective Parenting: a parenting workshop designed for parents of children from 0-3 yrs old (parents-to-be welcome too). Come learn practical parenting skills and effective ways to communicate with your child. Led by Melissa Lucius, seasoned mom and skilled facilitator who will explore different parenting topics each week through lively discussion and fun exercises. Mondays, October 18, October 25, November 1 and November 15, 7:30-9:30 pm in Arlington Center, $120. For more info, call 617-491-5859. The Art of Project Management for Non-Project Managers: Convert your strategic objectives into tangible results. Learn how to initiate, plan, and manage successful projects. Use your new skills to achieve your goals, grow your business, and be more successful. Oct 22, 2004, 8:30am - 5pm, Radisson Hotel, Woburn. Visit www.sage-cs.com/news1.html for details. Curious about ThinkPeople's other services? Check out Facilitation/Training/ Consulting" I hope you've enjoyed ThinkPeople's Monthly Workout and found value out of it! Feel free to forward to your friends, family and colleagues. To read past editions of ThinkPeople's Newsletters and to learn more about our services and products, visit us at http://www.thinkpeople.com/resources.html If you wish to unsubscribe, please e-mail unsubscribe@thinkpeople.com Copyright Info: ThinkPeople's Monthly Workout for the mind, heart and soul is ©2004 Jean M. DiGiovanna. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced without express written permission from the publisher. Jean M. DiGiovanna, Publisher Amy Rewakowski, Editor ThinkPeople ~ Playground for Shifting Reality jdigi@thinkpeople.com http://www.thinkpeople.com/ 617.489.7494